Monthly Archives: December 2011

Hip Hop Horrible

So I thought I could dance. I was wrong.

I’m currently on vacay and have been filling the days before the holiday doing two-a-days at the pool. Goal: drop 3 pounds so as to regain it on Christmas Day. Brilliant. But I gave my goggles a rest yesterday evening to take a Hip Hop dance class taught by the one and only, Katie M.F. Anderson (aka: sorority little sister #1).

I felt pretty good about it going in: I have a bit of rhythm, I am half black (wow, not offensively stereotypical at all, Linz), and I took a nap beforehand (key). Not to mention, I’ve danced under the direction of Katie before . . . dressed like these guys. Embarrassing.

Just as we were getting started, I quickly learned that I’m horrible at Hip Hop. Every time I tried to roll my torso, pop my hip, or glide my feet, I looked . . . like a cheerleader. Like the way this guy describes cheerleaders:

It pains me to say this, and I’m POSITIVE my brother has opinions on this, but I think the years of cheerleading and coaching have stripped me of my dancing ability – if I even had it at all. I mean, I can break it down on the dance floor. I’m flexible enough to get “a little bit softer now” and coordinated enough to “step in the name of love”. But dancing without counting, not sure I can do it.

Now, I took tap dance my freshman year of college (that’s right, for 3 whole credits). I got an A in the class so there must be some dancing skill. Either that, or I talked my way into the grade (wouldn’t be the first time).

But the biggest revelation: during my quarter-life crisis a year and a half ago, I decided that I needed a new hobby. I thought this new hobby should rekindle something that I’m already relatively good at. My choices: competitive swimming or cheerleading (read: dancing because I don’t have time to coach any more).

Soooo… Glad to see I made the right choice.

That said, I’m en route to the pool now for part one of two (and in preparation for Sunday’s Double Chocolate Cheesecake – thanks Lesley!). But first, allow me to recap what I learned:

  • Obvi, I wasn’t born to be a Hip Hop dancer.
  • Regardless of skill, Hip Hop is SO much fun when you have a great teacher like Katie (sign up for her class here)
  • My cheerleading style has some merits: I can choreograph (winning!) youth routines like this!
  • I have a reason to publicly share this priceless photo (circa 2005):

Hey, at least I look the part. Or like a man…

Arms Akimbo = Facebook appropriate

Arms akimbo. Yeah, it’s a thing. And it’s what I learned today…

According to Wikipedia, arms akimbo is: a human body position in which the hands are on the hips and the elbows are bowed outward, or bent or bowed in a more general sense.

Soooo, this:

Women the world over, however, know it best as the ideal position to be photographed in because:

  1. Your, um, “extra arm bulge” is made less visible as it’s not billowed against the side of your body;
  2. You can simultaneously push in your love handles, giving you a more hourglass-like figure; and
  3. This pose seamlessly gives you a bit of flair and spunk, but really, you know what’s up (1 & 2).

Can I get an Amen?

Don’t believe me? Pick a girlfriend, go to her Facebook page. I guarantee that at least one of her first 10 tagged photos will feature her with arms akimbo. Or at least one arm akimbo, and the girlfriend she’s pictured with reciprocating with the opposite arm. That, my friends, is a skill.

In the age of Facebook and photo-sharing, digital cameras and Smartphones, it’s hard not to be snapped in an image that will soon make the rounds of public viewership. As a result, people (and by people, I mean females) are very aware of how to position themselves juuust right for social network distribution. This…

…was not planned. But, even in the excitement of prepping for a friend’s wedding, I’m sure we all knew the photo would be on Facebook (or my blog…) within 24 hours, so we unconsciously auto-piloted into arms akimbo. Some of you may also recall the sorority squat – another flattering position that allows for more people to fit into a photo frame, made popular by sorority women. Interesting how we instinctively default into such poses.

So, what I learned:

  1. Obvi, the term “arms akimbo” courtesy of Buzz Feed.
  2. “Akimbo” is a fun word to say.
  3. It appears we take photos more for online circulation and less for capturing memories. But hey, at least we look good.

And lastly, I promise I’m not flaking on my blog – I just haven’t learned anything worth sharing over the past several days. Well, I haven’t learned anything that wouldn’t be incriminating to post anyway…  I’ll get to that “learning” as soon as I can figure out how to eloquently discuss a real-life night like this:

How I lost 2 hours of my life

…I went to see the new Twilight movie.

But it’s ok because:

  1. I waited until two weeks after opening weekend,
  2. I deliberately paid the matinée price, and
  3. I traveled 25 miles to see it, so as not to be caught by any acquaintances.

What I learned:

  • There is something appealing about vampires.
  • Even though he clearly lost, I’m still Team Jacob (I mean, you could make a grilled cheese sandwich on those abs).
  • Ashleigh lives far away.
  • Titanic is coming back to theaters – in 3D – and Kate and I both cried during the trailer alone. Stoked!
  • As if the “miracle of life” didn’t already creep me out, I’m officially scarred for life. We’re talking worse than the scene in Knocked Up. Shocked that I didn’t have seizure. This is a tween movie! Except…
  • This movie is solely supported by women aged 25-55; not a teenager in the theater.

But while I wasted 2 hours of my life on Twilight, I made up for it by being productive with the blog – and IT-savvy, might I add.

Look at your Web address bar. You’re not where you thought you were.  Welcome to LindsayLearns.com!

I dropped the “Every Day” part from the URL because alliteration is amazing to make it simpler for audiences. However, I’m still keeping the “Every Day” as part of the blog name – for now. The “Every Day” concept was important when the blog was created 3-ish years ago, but the blog is evolving (I’m realizing that I’m not learning as much goofy stuff as I once did…bummer…), so I’m still trying to figure out its direction.

Eventually, I’ll get more strategic about the branding aspects and positioning of this blog.  But right now, not gonna lie, I do feel like dropping the “Every Day” part reduces the pressure of needing to learn something and blog about it every day. Regardless, I’m keeping with it. I’m committed.

And when my credit card gets involved, that’s basically love.

I mean, check it: I even have a new email address: Lindsay@LindsayLearns.com. AND I have a few other integrations and design changes in the works. Therefore, I’ve also learned that I’m pretty good at managing the back-end of blogs, which is becoming increasingly important as a marketer.

So update your bookmarks, kids – LindsayLearns.com is official. And I KNOW you already have me bookmarked…